"You can always adopt..." and other insensitive statements.

[Jeannie Johnston]

Although made by well meaning friends and family - all too often we are met with insensitive statements. Anyone have any idea of how to respond???

[Christina]

My family and my husband's are always saying this. I tend tell people that I thin it's a little a nuts to raise kids in today's society. I had fertility issues, but am rather glad at this point that I had no children. I think had I waited, I would have chosen not to have them on my own. I also tell people that they would be surprised how many people in today's society and our generation are actually CHOOSING NOT to have kids. . . .

[Jeannie Johnston]

I know, right!??? I have to agree. Daniel and I couldn't have kids either and now that I am 40 (gasp!) I am glad that we didn't. I am enjoying being a professional aunt.

P.S. I am SO GLAD you joined. :)

[Sherry Rosen]

Why does anyone have the right to ask if/when you are going to have kids or, my personal favorite, why am I not married [at 45]?

[Jeannie Johnston]

I know, right?! And I'm also tired of being labeled "selfish" just because we don't have children.

[Cathy Lowery Tillman]

It is way more selfish to keep having children that you abuse, neglect or abandon! It would be much better if the "system" was fixed so that we could adopt these kids without going broke or having to wait for years while they are still enduring life without a loving, committed family!

Jeannie Johnston said:

I know, right?! And I'm also tired of being labeled "selfish" just because we don't have children.

[Jeannie Johnston]

Amen!!!

[Danielle Atherton-Bonner]

How about saying "then why didn't you"? Although I have children, I can TRULY empathize with those who cannot, as I had a brush with infertilty and actually found out I was pregant with my 5 year old a week shy of beginning treatments.

Adoption, as philanthropic as it is -- is NOT THE SAME THING -- no matter how you rationalize it. The entire process and experience of having your own biological child is second to none and there is no substitute.